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a song for my God!

I Can Only Imagine
Mercy Me

I can only imagine

What it will be like

When I walk

By your side

I can only imagine

What my eyes will see

When your face

Is before me

I can only imagine

CHORUS

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

When that day comes

And I find myself

Standing in the Son

I can only imagine

When all I will do

Is forever

Forever worship You

I can only imagine

a song that reminds me of him...

AT THE BEGINNING

We were strangers

Starting out on a journey

Never dreaming what we'd have to go through

Now here we are

And I'm suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope

You were there to remind me

This is the start

Life is a road, and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep flowing

Life is a road, now and forever

Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

At the end I want to be standing at the beginning

With you

We were strangers

On a crazy adventure

Never dreaming how are dreams could come true

Now here we stand

Unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere

Like me alone in the dark

Now I know my dream will live on

I've been waiting so long

Nothing's going to tear us apart

And life is a road, and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep going on

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep flowing

In the end I want to be standing at the beginning

With you

*haaayyyy... ang ganda ng lyrics... when the right time comes, i will start a new beginning of my life with him... hehe... (i can't believe i'm posting this in my blog...) haha... haaaayyyyyy... nakakamiss... sooooobrrrrraaaaa... i don't know what's happening pero i have faith in the story God is writing for our lives... medyo nakakalungkot nga lang kasi may mga nagbago na... hehe... (bakit ang drama ko??? i'm not like this... haaaayyyy...) hehe... ayun... that's all...

i love this song...

Who Am I
by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

pressure from everywhere...

haaayyy.. i don't like this feeling.. feeling ko, everything's slowly eating me up.. ang daming pressure sa paligid ko and i'm not doing good.. on every aspect of my life, merong pressure.. first, sa family, haayy.. sa tingin ko malapit na kaming mabad-shot dahil sa madalas na pag- uwi namin ng late in the evening, dahil sa pag-asikaso ng ikot bayan (it's not that i'm blaming the activity..) kaya ngayon, i'm really trying to make things good here at home.. although wala naman silang sinasabi, i'm not insensitive not to feel na ganun na ung nafifeel nila samin.. another thing, about my brother.. he has this problem at socializing with others at school.. kung titingnan ko un, mababaw lang un because i understand.. every person just go through it.. nasa stage na talaga ng development ng isang human na mag- undergo ng mga emotional conflicts.. un nga lang, as i can see, medyo nahihirapan ung bro ko to cope up dun sa particular stage na un.. kaya in a way, we also have to guide him.. and you know what? medyo sinisisi ng nanay ko ung sarili nya of what's happening to my younger brother.. and pumasok din sa isip ko na as her sister and as a future teacher, hindi ko na naaalagaan ung kapatid ko.. mahirap din kasi sakin na makita ung ganun kasi diba, i'm taking up education and its alarming for me to see my own brother's grades na unti- unting bumababa.. am i not an effective teacher? haaayyy.. second, sa studies.. thesis! book reports! and many other requirements.. it's february and dumadami na ung mga requirements namin na kailangan ng ipasa right away.. and what i don't like is that, i'm starting to feel lazy to go to school.. haayy.. i don't why? siguro kasi malapit ng mag- end ung semester.. gaun kasi ako.. hehe.. pero i promised myself na hindi ko naman pababayaan ung pag- aaral ko.. haayy.. third, sa service.. haayyy.. sobrang daming activities ngaun.. and hindi lang basta madami, mabibigat pa.. ung tipong pang-professionals na ung dapat gumawa.. hayy.. i don't know if i'm feeling the right thing pero i want to give up.. there came a time na sabi ko sa sarili ko na mag- iinactive na lang ako.. pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko magawa.. i love this service, the people that i'm with, and the feeling while i'm serving.. i'm getting tired.. ewan ko ba kung bakit? maybe because of the activities kaya nappressure ako ng ganto.. and i'm not taking anything positively.. hayy, namimiss ko na ung dating ako na laging optimistic pagdating sa service.. tama nga ung sabi ni ej about sa ikot bayan (yfc activity), it is a test of faith.. sobrang natetest ung faith ko ngaun.. and mas nakilala ko ng sarili ko, hindi pala ganun kalaki ung faith ko.. i thought nothing can hinder me from believing pero these challenges did.. haayy.. nakakainis din kasi ngaun ung chapter heads overnight, dapat talaga hindi ako sasama because inuna ko ng init ng ulo ko sa pagdedesisyon. but then, nung kinausap ako ni enrik at bornok about dun, convincing me to go there, i thought kailangan ko nga talaga ng matindihang nourishment ngaun because i don't like what i'm feeling now.. but unfortunately, i didn't.. nagkasakit ako kahapon(friday) and tomorrow (sunday), aalis kami ng family.. gusto kong sumama talaga kaso natatakot na naman akong hindi payagan kasi sinabi na ni tatay na aalis kami.. and in the first place, i've set up my mind na hindi ako sasama so it's too late kung ngayon lang ako magpapaalam.. haayy.. nakakalungkot talaga.. i can't tell what's God's plan for me.. i just hope that God will embrace me so tightly so that i'll never have to be far away from Him.. i love this service so much that i can't imagine my life without it.. that's all..

2006 na!!!

oh my gulay! ngaun lang ulit ako nakapag-post dito after almost 5 months... haaayyyy... naging busy kasi eh, as in sobrang busy to the max! pero anyway, 2006 na and i think there's so much to be expected from me and from the people around me... haaayyy... it's almost 2am and i'm not yet sleeping kasi syempre, school works na naman... gusto ko na matulog! haha! and mas inuuna ko pa ang pagpopost ng blog dito kesa sa paggawa ng project ko. haaaayyyy! kailangan ko ng tanggalin ung ugali kong un.. hehe.. hmmmmm.. actually, i got no words to say... gusto ko lang magpost ulet dito sa blog ko.. and there's nothing really "amazing" about my life now except that God loves me soooo much! haha! it's as if my life is constant! ang tagal na ngang ganito eh.. i want some change! pero hindi ko naman alam kung pano... haaayyy... maybe i should change something about my attitude... and lately (actually, medyo matagal na din) i've been experiencing dryness from my spiritual life.. haay.. i feel God pero nag-flu-fluctuate yung feelings ko... hmmmm... i don't know... i'm a little bit confused with the things and situations around me... but one thing's for sure, i do BELIEVE! hindi naman ako iiwan ni God eh and He has given me my family and friends... hmmm.. i think that's all i have to say this time... i do hope na sana mapadalas naman ung pagpopost ko dito sa blog! haha! bye! mwah! P.S. sa wakas nakapag upload na din ako ng picture! haha! galing! bye again!

this is bad...

*sigh*

ayoko ng ganitong feeling.. ung tipong, wala na namang direksyon ung mga ginagawa mo.. the kind of feeling na sobrang naboboring ka na sa daily routine mo.. i don't know why i feel this kind of emotion.. it disgusts me.. especially when it comes to studies.. i kept thinking why can't i bring back the eagerness and enthusiasm that i felt last sem.. di ko tlaga maintindihan ung sarili ko ngaun.. even the simpliest thing like waking up early in the morning to prepare for school, sobrang hirap na hirap akong i- accomplish eh.. sobrang dami ko ng late and absents sa mga subjects ko, lalo na sa first subjects ko.. also, i know na this school year will be a tough one.. kasi it's like my fourth year na rin kasi practicum na kami next sem so lahat ng mga paper works like fesibility studies, teaching demos and documentations, this sem lahat binibigay. can you imagine, 3 ung feasibility studies na ipapasa namen this sem na sobrang hirap.. take note, prelims pa lang un, what more pa sa finals.. honestly, I'M GETTING PRESSURED WITH THE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW.. wrong timing tong nararamdaman ko ngaun kasi this is the time na kailangan ko ng fire na magpupush saken to do my responsbilities..

*sigh*

i feel like i'm going nowhere.. i'm really confused with they way i feel right now.. kung dati, ginagawa kong inspiration ung pagseserve ko kay God, bakit ngaun, hindi na umuubra o tumatalab un sakin whenever iniisip ko un kapag nakakafeel ako ng katamaran.. siguro, napapansin ko ngaun na medyo okei na sa family ko ung ginagawa kong pagseserve sa community so naiisip ko na hindi ko na ganung kailangang nagstrive sa pag- aaral.. but this is wrong!! kapag bumaba ung mga grades ko, baka un uli ung maging hindrance sakin sa pagseserve and i don't want that to happen.. honestly, hindi na balance ung life ko ngaun kasi there are things that i should be prioritizing but i'm not.. example: bakit kapag pupunta ako ng gathering or ng YFC activities, sobrang excited ako kahit minsan mahirap na ung ginagawa namen pero bakit ung simpleng pagpasok ko ng 7am sa school, hirap na hirap ako.. i really need some help.. ayoko ng ganitong feeling and emotion towards my life..

*sigh*

i like this song.. honestly, hindi ko alam kung song nga to or a piece of poem.. nabasa ko lang to sa blog nga YFC Central B1.. sobrang nakakarelate ako..

Light the Fire Again

Don't let my love grow cold

I'm calling out, light the fire again

Don't let my vision die

I'm calling out, light the fire again

You know my heart, my deeds

I'm calling out, light the fire again

I need Your discipline

I'm calling out, light the fire again

I am here to buy gold refined in the fire

Naked and poor, wretched and blind I come

Clothe me in white

So I won't be ashamed Lord,

light the fire again..

well, that's all for now.. these are my undying thoughts in this portion of my life.. may God bless me with His love and embrace me tighly with His righteous grace.. bye..